what is your greatest fear?

a few days ago, i was asked this (see the last post).  i started to write this post the next day, but didn't finish it.  when i came back and read what i had written, i decided to scrap it and start over. so, here goes...

fear.  the dictionary on my mac says, "an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat."  i think that is a pretty good starting point for what i want to talk about.  fear is a part of our lives everyday.  mostly, it's small, logical things like not burning the inside of your mouth with hot coffee or fear that ike & jane will be out of the good donuts before you get there.  this is good fear.  this is fear that keeps a truly negative experience from happening.  but, there is bad fear in our lives everyday too.  fear that the people in line around me will think i'm an idiot if i do whatever is required to get the 10% discount at ike & jane (unless, it's an accent. because I can do accents, so people won't judge).  fear that so and so won't like it if i go up and start a conversation.  fear that i'm not good enough to speak up in class.  fear that i don't look like i or others expect me to look.  fear that i am not going to measure up.  this awful kind of fear is there everyday.  but it shouldn't be.  you see, this is something that i have been learning.  something that the Father is pounding into my head.  this fear is awful because it robs of who He made us to be.  it steals the opportunity to savor and enjoy the life He made for us like we would savor a blueberry donut (from ike & jane).  you see, He hasn't made me to be you or c.s. lewis or roger federer or anyone else.  He made me to be me.  He made me me.  He gave me specific gifts, talents, interests, passions, likes, and dislikes.  he made my mind, body, and personality just the way He wants them to be.  He made me, and He made you uniquely.  He did it because He loves us.  But, more than that He did it because a whole bunch of unique people who can come together and say, "look at how great and might You are" is way more cool and brings Him way more glory than a bunch of robots who all think and say the same thing.  so i need to let go of thinking about what other people think.  i need to let go of comparison.  i need to let go of everything but running after Him.  when i run after Him everything falls into place.  it's not always pretty.  after all, there is evil that we (humanity) brought into the picture that distorts what he made us to be.  but He, the Creator, is also the Restorer.  when we trust Him with us.  completely trust Him.  we are finally free to be us.  we are finally free to enjoy who He is and who He made us.  we are free. and this freedom, well... it is for freedom that He has set us free.